The Final Reckoning

Welcome back one and all

 Jan 4 and I am safely back in the comfort of Probert Rd. A very long day yesterday, not helped once more by my lack of foresight when booking tickets, another 4 hours in Muscat burned meaning the overall trip back from BKK was extended to a gruesome 19 hours in total. I’d forgotten what a grind long haul flights are. I was very pleased to get home and stayed up until midnight, or 7am Thai time which is pretty impressive for a man of 34 with no drugs i’m sure you’d agree. Tragically though, my poor old body was woken me a paltry 3.5 hours later, ping! Looks like i will have a few mornings like this one to look forward to. Now then.. to finish the story and back to NYE..

 The muted celebrations were actually really lovely. In my zen state I attended a meditation session, held at the Spa’s other location in the hills above the beach. it was really beautiful, the sound of cicadas and frogs croaking was really loud. I am too much of an office jockey to stay sitting up cross legged for any length of time, although the yoga types can do it forever, so i lay on my back with my eyes closed and really got into it. Very nice. After that, about 20 of us set deck chairs up along the beach and watched from about a mile away all the lights and fireworks going off at the beach parties. In all honesty i was really really happy to be chilling in my chair and not to be actually at any of the parties.. they looked good from a distance but no more. 20 people, not a single drink of alcohol, and you know what – i have definitely had worse new years eves.

So next day, 7am and no hangover i was up and about with only a final colonic between me and a feeding frenzy. By 9am the deed was done and i was tucking into an austere but tasty breakfast of fresh fruit. I had heard others comment how full they had got with their shrunken bellies and expected the same, but it turns out i am made of sterner stuff! 4 meals later, yes friends be proud, and i finally stopped, feeling a bit worn out and emotional.

The emphasis since has all been on raw food and very little protein. I even packed a couple of salads for the plane yesterday so i wouldn’t need to eat the food on board. This is not me signalling a major life change here – just being practical. Processed food post fast makes you puke it would seem. However i have certainly undergone a transformation in the way i look at food. i had an airport posh coffee yesterday, but only after a lot of thought. And i didn’t have any alcohol on the flight, and the sight of pre-packed, processed plane food wasn’t attractive at all. I am yet to negotiate any meat as yet, altho i have tackled fish by having some lovely fat prawns in a spicy thai salad in bangkok and they went down very well.. but i know i’m going to be choosy about meat for a while to come. not a bad thing at all i would say.

So, the final summary in numbers:

7 days with no food

12 days on the trot with no alcohol or caffeine at all

13 diluted coffee colonics with a cheeky lemon one at the end (so much nicer..)

7 sessions in the steam room to aid toxin release via perspiration

1 liver flush drink (not for the faint hearted and not to be repeated as it turned out)

12 lbs in weight lost (a temporary thing i am certain)

2 cheekbones found (see above for temporary prediction) & 2 sparking eyes.

Would I do it again? Yes, although i am not one of those who will return 6 months later because the rejuvenating effects are so profound. I certainly feel fitter, healthier and better placed for a new year, but by the end i was finding the daily regime dull and regimented; so it might be a once every 5 years kind of thing. Or it might be once every 35 years, we shall have to see.

For now, it’s all over and thank you for reading your way along with me. I have to confess, part of the logic in writing a blog was to increase my chances of completion. Private failure i can take on the chin with the best of them, public embarressing failure is not something i try & embrace too often.

Much love and remember to tell me how great i look when we next meet. Now I’m off to watch the Ashes.

 robin

NYE – and nearly there

Greatings all

So i have finally very nearly made it to the finishing line. Tomorrow morning I break my fast and believe me the menu planning has been going on for some time. Of course there are a number of things you need to bear in mind after a week foodless.. you have to ease your body back into it. I’ve been amusing myself with thoughts of the most inappropriate meal possible, and it’s got to be something like rare fillet steak with a generous slab of foie gras on top. not sure i am quite ready for that, but my fresh salads will taste just as fine i’m sure. a few people finish tomorrow so there’ll be a dinner & we’ve agreed to celebrate the new year on new york time, tonight’s celebration was always going to be a bit muted.

the last couple of days have been harder, energy has started to flag a little & there is a fairly relentless routine of detox drinks and pills to negotiate. I’ll be happy not to be tied to a schedule anymore. having said that, i have filled in the time easily and it has been scorching hot so no great desire to move far from the pool anyway. as for the outcome.. well i will give it a couple of days before i share my final verdict, but i am certainly more rested, cleaner of skin and whiter of eye than i was before xmas, as well as being quite a bit slimmer. there isa lot of psychological satisifaction in knowing what i’ve managed to leave behind too.. we’ll see what the physical benefits are in the days to come i’m sure. all in all in good shape for january and the apres-ski in courcheval.

have a wonderful new year all, whether you’re in or out, and here’s looking forward to a marvellous 2007!

love robin

Day 4 – the evil of dairy

hello all

A relatively quick one today, i have a detox drink waiting and then an appointment to have some shirts made. however, an interesting bit of learning yesterday which i wanted to share.
at this point most people are very comfortable with one another, the common experience is one that binds. so much so that an aussie guy was telling me what he managed to ‘pass’ yesterday, and then whippped out the photos to demonstrate… quite amazing.
a gristly tube, about half an inch in diameter, and 2.5 ft long. enormous! he even put one of his shoes next to it in the photo so you could get a sense of scale. after some investigation it appears that this is an accumulation of undigested foods that accrues over years and sticks in your gut, making it hard to digest subsequent food and trapping things as they try and slip by. there are a number of cuplrits, but dairy-lovers beware as this is one of teh principal offenders. Some of you may know already but apparently the pasteurising process on milk changes its molecular structure and leaves it incredibly hard for us to fully digest. so all those milk products cause a big problem in the tubing after. the solution is soya milk and goats cheese only.

I am both intrigued and appalled by this. i had always known that dairy wasn’t the greatest, the difference now is i have seen what it produces, and damn it isn’t pretty. no doubt i shall continue to feast on cheese and port when i get home (no rash commitments in the heat of the moment from me!), but perhaps a little less frequently?

for now, there is an unspoken sense of competition emerging between a few people here. i for one am keen to trump this feat by producing something even darker and larger myself. i’m confident that years of indulgence will have left something like the kraken in me, whether i can tempt it out into the open remains to be seen. i shall try my hardest friends! whether i will photo any big catches and post remains to be seen, but soon this blog may get an 18+ rating.

love to one and all

Arse rubbing

Greetings one and all, and let me start by thanking the monks’ for sharing their xmas menus with me. Team players, one and all. In the same amount of time i have eaten no turkey, no roasties, no parsnips, in fact for 48 hours now i have eaten nothing whatsoever – a personal best (by some distance). However i have managed to wash 48 litres of diluted coffee round my arse… more of which later.

 I should tell you something about this lovely place to kick off. It’s a beautiful beach side spot, complete with all the trappings you’d expect from a luxury spa. Herbal steam rooms, pool as well as the sea, yoga, pilates, meditation, and a dozen different types of thai massage - everything the modern metrosexual needs all surrounded by beautiful wild flowers and forested hilltops. there is even a restaurant which is rated by tatler as one of the best 50 in the world… which is either truly ironic or a deed of sadistic design given half the guests are fasting.

you’ll be pleased to hear that i am coping rather well so far, although troubled waters(!) may only be round the corner. the lack of food is actually fine, you drink a special detox drink 5 x a day which takes the edge of the appetite by fooling your belly into thinking that you’re full. having said that, i’ve never been a man who needs to be hungry to want to eat, so i have still been sorely tempted by the whafts of garlic, coreander, limes and chili that emanate from the kitchens. i keep reminding myself i am playing for a bigger prize this time.

and so onto the main event- the colonics. at this point anyone reading who might have a future interest in having sex with me should stop reading –  really, it’ll be best for both of us.

thankfully i seem to be a natural when it comes to the technique of self-administering.. fortunate given what others have mentioned… ‘lots of water in, and none came out – pain!’… or ‘it’s like krakatoa in there’.. From the first i’ve managed the mechanics fine. Having said that, it’s a strange old experience and one that i’m not yet accustomed to. even as i sit here typing, i’ve got a sensation of leaking water … bad enough to have stopped to have a quick check. happily tho all appears to be dry, but no sudden laughter is the order of the day i suspect.

As for what emerges… dear god. and i’m only on day 2! i’ll spare you the gory details but take it from me, this is not normal, natural, or in anyway desirable. green. mucus. do you need more? even in this i am blessed compared to some fellow fasters, one of whom has had to eyeball a couple of hefty tapeworms – like fettucine by all accounts. it’s a truly distressing thought.

you’ll have gathered by now that the people here are very happy to share stories of all kinds. there is a good friendly bunch of people tho’, and a bit of team bonding going on which is always nice. Louisa- if you are reading there are even a gaggle of north london jewish princesses in residence, you really would feel right at home.

Trust this finds you all well, and (watch me effortlessly assume the high ground now) feeling lardy, pasty and depressed by over-exposure to family. well i may have a leaky arse, but i’m thankfully none of those.  all is going swimmingly in fact and i’m thoroughly enjoying my growing sense of virtue. expect me to fully exploit this for some time to come please.

love to all & more in a couple of days..

robin

Mum has gone to Iceland; and Rob has gone to Thailand

All: Robin hasn’t quite figured out how to post stuff, so I’m posting his first one on his behalf. I’ll send him some instructions to make sure he’s fully equipped from now on. The rest is Robin’s own work.

Well everyone… welcome to my inaugural blog, brought to you from thailand in recognition of the public interest shown in my alternative christmas. And firstly of course thanks to dan for setting this up and giving me the opportunity to share what promises to be a truly intimate experience with you. I should also say that the content which follows over the next week may not be for the faint hearted…

First things and i have landed in bangkok after a lengthy journey hopping round the middle east. took me somewhat by suprise actually, a lesson learned – study the itinerary and pay the extra for a direct flight in future. bharain was dull and muscat no better given i didn’t even get off the plane. Interesting to look around and see my fellow travellers tho.. a few tourists but mainly thai/indian workers heading home from jobs in the gulf for the holidays.. the global workforce personified.

anyway, a couple of hours sleep were had which exceeded my expectations so i am not feeling bad. have just had some food (packing it in while i can) and shortly will be jumping on the overnight train from bangkok down to surrathani which should be a lot of fun. tomorrow morning and i will celebrate christmas by getting on the ferry over to samui, it’s going to be glorious.

christmas eve and bangkok is suprisingly quiet.. it is a holiday which is a bit odd for a buddhist country, so less traffic than usual but all the same smog – as soon as the plane came overheard the horizons narrowed immediately. also 30 degrees of course but not too sweaty.

so this is the beginning. if the truth be told i am slightly concerned about my ability to cope without food for 7 whole long days. everytime i think about it i get ravenous and have started caning the thai food. not ideal preparation maybe but given the last few weeks wining and dining, it’s a little too late to get overly concerned about that. by the time i write again.. i will have started! wish me luck please and merry christmas all

x

Welcome to Robin’s blog

Welcome to Robin’s blog. Its aim is to provide regular updates about his exploits in Thailand while he tries to rid his body of all evil.

Good luck, Robin!